Ok, I stumbled upon this video a while ago and it's just too comical to pass up.
There are so many things wrong with the parent's assumptions about his son that I barely know where to start, but I'll take a crack at some of the more ludicrous points made in this video.
1. Does asking to change ISPs mean that your son is a computer hacker? Hardly, more likely your son is the only one in your family that realizes that using AOL was a crap way to connect to the internet when it was brand new (but I did love getting the free Frisbee CDs in the mail a few times a month)
2. Are you finding programs that you don't remember installing? OK, if all you are finding are mysterious new programs called "firefox" or "warcraft" I wouldn't worry about it. If you happen to stumble across a folder with two programs called Cain and Abel, then you are one of the few people who might have a legitimate concern! Cain and Abel has few legitimate uses and is more commonly the tool of people who perform man in the middle attacks on your wireless devices to steal personal info (I'll do an in-depth discussion of it at a later time).
3. Is your kid asking you for new hardware? Then they're most likely not hackers. The much more plausible explanation is that your family computer has a six year old processor that can barely run programs from FIVE years ago.
4. Does your son play Quake? No that does not make him a hacker, it makes him a nonconformist! (99.99% of his friends would play Halo or Call of Duty instead)
5. Finally my favorite. If you son is using "LUNIX" (Linux for the informed), chances are he is simply part of the wide-spread open source movement. Most of the time your kid is just using Ubuntu (or similar distributions) to stick it to Windows. DISCLAIMER: if the "lunix" he is using is a distribution called BackTrack, then the stars and sun have aligned and your son might actually be a legit hacker! Whereas BackTrack 4 is supposed to be a system penetration testing tool, it does work equally well in stealing your neighbor's wifi and compromising their computers if they're unpatched.